nut hugger
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
