never play flip cup with pint glasses
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
