I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
