i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
