I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
