you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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