HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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