so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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