Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
stop calling my apartment porn island.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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