Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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