coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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