I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
