Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I smell stomach acid.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
