I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My bed is full of blood and feathers
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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