He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
