That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
