You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
