i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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