I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
