i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
