Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
