38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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