The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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