So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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