No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
