I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
