If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
