okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
