It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
