sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
