I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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