her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
