NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
