i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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