Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
