You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
