a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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