dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
As shirtless as possible
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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