During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
