I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
