it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
