What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
