awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
