woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
