i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its not stalking. its research.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You can't just leave with hair like that
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
