Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
