The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
