Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
