Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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