he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
