I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize