He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You are a genius and a whore.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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