we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize