Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
