be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
