I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
