How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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