i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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