All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
