I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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