You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
