Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
