They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
