we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
