This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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