she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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