It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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